Doing what you don't feel like doing

Towards the end of last year, I started a bible study class being offered at my church every Thursday night from 6:30pm until about 9:00pm-ish. Initially, I was very excited about the class and super excited about who was leading the class (he's a wonderful guy and very spiritual, with the most beautiful girls and a very sweet wife). Then it seems life began getting in the way. Hurdle after hurdle was placed in my way to keep me from being able to attend the class weekly (it's a 34 week class...I won't admit to how many weeks I've already missed). Once the hurdles were conquered, I just simply got out of the habit of going and didn't make it a priority. Did I feel bad about not going? Sure I did, however, I rationalized each week that I was tired from work, needed to work on trying to build my photography business more, needed to spend more time with my boys....just any excuse to not actually go. It seemed I wasn't missed either because none of the others in the class ever approached me at church on Sundays to inquire as to why I'd been MIA for so long.

Then it happened. The facilitator asked me two weeks ago when I was going to come back. Well, when you're put on the spot like that, you have to answer, right? So I said I'd be there on Thursday (this was last week). Well, guess what? Didn't go. Felt bad, but just shrugged it off. You have to love Facebook, you can get either public messages or private messages from your friends and this week I got a private message from a friend in the class (have I mentioned that friend is the pastor's wife) just letting me know that the class was up to the New Testament in the study and that they'd missed me....no pressure, no guilting into coming back. I immediately threw up the excuse that my son has baseball practice and if I could find someone else to take him to practice, I'd be there. I really don't think I had any intention of trying to find someone else to take him, but deep down in me, I told myself I'd just keep doing what I'd been doing, coming home on Thursdays, checking in with the family and then immediately head to my laptop. Excuses...

Well, this Thursday was different. At the 11th hour, I found myself saying why are you allowing the devil to win?? He's the one that's really keeping you from the bible study class you know you really liked going to. So, I tried to reach my oldest son to see if he could take his baby brother to practice. No response (he was at soccer practice & had another event afterwards). So I called my mother and asked her if she would please take him for me so I could go to disciple class. She didn't miss a beat, said yes immediately. Kinda shocked me since she says he drives her crazy with his constant talking and question asking (he's very inquisitive and actually pretty smart, but doesn't mix well with school - doesn't like to do organized learning....go figure!).

That class was exactly what I needed and even though I had done none of the reading, it was all material that I was familiar with and had read many times in the past so I was able to actively participate and get so much out of the discussions that were had during the class. As I read aloud one passage in the book of Matthew, I saw the steps that had been leading me back to the class in the words. God had been prompting me by having me do other things beforehand. I was blind to the preparation that had been going on in the weeks leading up to my return, but saw them clearly as I sat the sanctuary of our church. He knew my heart and He knew what Satan was attempting to do. As is common with Him, He saved me again, never gave up on me and slowly prodded me until I was back where He needed me to be. I am so thankful that I went to class. I learned yet another lesson that I'd learned previously....God never gives up on us. He's always there for us and we should be thankful and obedient to His will for our lives, not trying to do it our own way.

I left class feeling like a tremendous load had been lifted off of me even though I hadn't realized the load was there. Things had/have been going great in my life lately so I didn't see that I was slowly drifting away from the place I'm most content....in His arms.