It was bound to happen..

My oldest son is a Senior this year. With that comes all the emotions of a parent having their first child prepare to leave the nest, even if it is for college to continue their pursuit of education and a better chance at a brighter future. It really started to hit home with me at the end of his Junior year. I've been mildly depressed and cried many a times since that realization hit me. For 18 years, I've had this person in my life, knew pretty much where he was at all times, helped to nurture and shape him into the wonderful young man he truly is...but, he's going to actually be leaving home, going away where I won't have the access to him that I have now. I won't know if he's okay every minute of every day. I won't know if he needs someone to talk to because as a mother, I can sense these things. I won't be able to give him advice and encouraging talks to help him through rough spots he's bound to encounter. I just feel as if I'm not going to be able to be there for him as I have been his entire life.

I know, I have to allow him to grow up, move on and be accountable and responsible. It's just very hard for me and while I'm extremely proud of him and all he's accomplished in his short lifespan, I'm having to let him go to some place that I can't just run to him if something happens. My heart is in turmoil right now, and probably will be for quite some time. I want him to go to college, do good, make the right choices about who he spends his time with, not fall into peer pressure to do things that may potentially harm him or cause harm to others unintentionally, be the strong, God-filled and loving person that he's been crafted into by God. I can only pray that the foundation that has been laid for him, will be so strong that nothing can crack it and he maintains the path that God has set for him, and has had set for him from the moment he was conceived.

I wish you the best of luck son, I'm going to miss you terribly, much more than you know. I'm so very proud of you and hope you will continue to be a good role model for your brothers that are following in your footsteps. I love you with all my heart and beyond what any other person here on earth ever can. I love you as much as God loved us all to allow His son to die for us so that we may live and pursue our dreams and the opportunities that come with those dreams.