I don't know why I allow....

People to disappoint me so much. I guess because I feel as if I give so much of myself to others, and I just don't quite get the same in return. A friend once told me to not have expectations and then I won't have disappointments. I'm simply not wired that way. I do have expectations....and why shouldn't I? I try to treat people the way I want to be treated, I try to be as considerate as humanly possible (although, there are some people that no matter how hard you try...it's a lost cause and you have to distance yourself from those types), but I seem to attract people that have a knack for disappointing me.

I'm not just referring to the members of the opposite sex either...people I consider to be really good, best friends, seem to not place as much importance on the friendship than I try to. Then others wonder why I seem so distant, so unapproachable at times, always to myself. It's hard to let others in and then they quietly let themselves out...sometimes with very little notice or provocation. I protect my heart at all costs, and I shut down. Just seems easier to keep a wall around me like a fortress so when the time comes for someone to walk out of my life for whatever reason, I'll be fine. Just fine.