Amazing things will happen

I saw this video posted on a photographer friends blogsite and thought it was so very good. I'm not too familiar with Conan O'Brien, I've never seen any of his late night shows, but that's neither here nor there. His message, his words of encouragement and gratitude are wonderful examples of how we can either allow a situation to either bring us down or build us up. This is definitely one to watch over and over again if you feel a bit overwhelmed by 'stuff'.

Conan O'Brien Kinetic Typography from Jacob Gilbreath on Vimeo.

A Song I Heard Recently...

I was driving heading back to my office as the end of my lunch loomed over me...and I heard it. I heard a song that seriously made time stand still for me. How I heard it, why I heard it can only be attributed to God wanting, needing to get my attention at that moment and gently guide my thoughts away from the mess and muck that has been the theme of the past few months in my life. It's not really fair to say everything has been a mess and mucked up, because that is far from the truth. It's moreso, that's all our minds, my human mind, can rationally cling to in an effort to offer a wounded soul and spirit some level of comfort and solace.

The music in the car had been turned down very low as I left the office and drove to a local store's parking lot to have some peace and quiet to work on another project that couldn't be completed while I was stealing time and moments from my "real" job to attempt to work on it. Somehow, I heard just a few words...very intriguing and soon to be understood by me...that awakened my spirit more than it's been awake in the past few weeks, months even. I quickly fumbled for the volume control to turn it up so I could really hear it. I'd initially mistaken the artist for another artist who recently had a brand new album come out, but at the end of the song the radio station announced who the singer was and I simply smiled.

If you haven't had the pleasure of hearing "Blessings", by Laura Story, open iTunes and search for it. Listen to it for its simplicity, as well as its very revealing phrases of trials that we face day in and day out, of the struggles we have within ourselves and within our circle of friends, and the questions that arise out of those trials. Finally, hear God's reply through the words of the song:

"‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise..."

We all, I most definitely have, will say how we know that the things that we face sometimes that are hard and trying, that if they don't kill us, they'll certainly make us stronger and how God doesn't give us more than we can handle. But do we really, truly, deeply believe the cliched words we've come to know and associate with rough "seasons"? I'd venture to say a vast majority of us do not. We tell ourselves we do, but if we did, the words of songs like Blessings, wouldn't stop us dead in our tracks as if an anvil has magically (and painfully) dropped out of the heavens and whacked us hard on our even harder heads. It's then that we will, hopefully, realize what God has desired for us to know and understand all along; trials on earth will happen, but fear not, because we are just travelers visiting this great big place we call earth. We are wandering around experiencing all that we can (and some that we probably shouldn't) in preparation for the time that we go home, back to the Father that has been patiently awaiting us as He rained down blessings of all kinds, even the hard, tear-filled lessons we needed to learn to better be able to appreciate all that He has done for us.

"When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
It’s not our home..."

A World Changer....

Love her songs....

I've never understood what it is about me that makes people feel as if I am made of steel and unable to feel. I am fully able to feel and experience hurt and pain...all too well.  Question for me becomes, will I continue to make allowances for the inability of others to respect the fact that I do have feelings? From family to friends to relationships, I won't be a doormat for anyone.  Don't wipe the crap off your shoes onto me. Don't want or need it in my life. 

Thank You. 

  

2010.....what to say, what to say

 ^7-9If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best! (2 Corinthians 4:7-9, The Message)

This year, 2010, has been one heck of a year for me. So many ups and downs, although truth be told, more downs than ups. It started off so-so, with my having come off the incredibly disappointing and heartbreaking knowledge that a friend was not truly a friend, and probably never was. Guess I just really wanted to feel like I had someone I could relate to about things and enjoy their company and conversation that I overlooked things that should have been warning signals to me. I have a horrible habit of doing that sometimes. Generally I'm very good with my intuition kicking in and sending all sorts of signals quickly, but not in this instance (and a few more I can remember from years past). That took a huge toll on me and set me back emotionally for the better part of 2010.

Then came the realization that I take on things I really don't want to do and I even allow myself to be shot in the foot about these things by not really pricing myself (photography services for you with minds in other areas) where I should and being able to stick to my guns on what my time and effort is worth. I allow friendships to jade my better judgment which ultimately does a tremendous disservice to me financially and really, professionally. It's not that I don't want to do some of the sessions that I do, it's more that I end up not being thrilled about them when I have given a "break" to a friend just because. With all the time, energy and effort that goes into the behind the scenes portion of what I do once the camera stops clicking (and to be honest, even before it begins to click), I get a bit disappointed that I've allowed myself to feel as if I MUST discount for certain people who in turn relay that same message to others. Why would they want to pay a higher price for anything I do?

Ah ha...just came up with a resolution for 2011: Business Manager/Financial Officer with grit and guts, no holds barred, friendship or not...this is what the price is, take it or leave it. I know the perfect person to handle this.

Now, I'm at a place where on some levels, I'm happy with what's taking place and others I'm just kinda blah about them. So much has happened and changed for me in 2010, but I can't really share the parts I want to share with others for very specific reasons. I wish it weren't that way, but it is and that does get to me quite often. I've been working hard to deal with my depression and focus on the good things that I have in my life, not take them for granted. When setbacks pop up, and with 3 kids...many financial setbacks have surfaced this year (one literally just happened and it's a doozy, a very costly doozy too). But, I'm not going to allow any of that to keep too much company in my thoughts because it does no good to dwell on that which can't be changed or taken back. Just take care of it, move on and don't look back.

Our eyes are in front of us for a reason, to look ahead to what God has in store for us and to focus on doing what is necessary to be able to receive what He has in store. Met a wonderful, wise lady 2 days before Christmas and she literally was God speaking to me through her about what I HAVE to do in order to truly be worthy of receiving the many abundant blessings He's been wanting to give me. It's my inactivity that has been the hindrance all along, my fear of what may happen if I do this, my lack of faith in both God and myself that has held me back for far too long now. She gave me a daily prayer, request almost, to speak to God to start my day off. I've done pretty good with it so far, although I've missed the mark a few mornings and have had to say it at the point it popped into my head. She said she asks God daily to empty her spirit and refill it anew with a fresh dose of His Spirit so that she can be all that He desires of her daily; guarding her thoughts, words, actions...giving her the appropriate armor to keep at bay that which tries to distract us from being the good, loving children of Christ he crafted us to be,
right there on his potter's wheel.